If my failure in relationships with straight men has a ying, then it’s yang would be my success in highly functioning and essential to my life relationships with gay men. For some reason gay men are attracted to me like a moth to a flamer. And I know why.
A.) I am a bad ass bitch who tends to say and tell anyone whatever I’m thinking and have no thought or feeling as to if I hurt someone with my forthcomingness (no such word).
B.) I’m highly stubborn, passionate, ambitious, and love me some classy shit.
C.) I’m a Hot Fucking Mess. And gay men love hot fucking messes for fag hags.
I have 6 Men who love Men who I would find life to be unlivable without them in my life. Meredith Montgomery McKay, Nick Hackett, Roc Bettencourt, Libby St. Clair, Liam Fitzpatrick, and TW.
In honor of Roc Bettencourt’s Birthday this past Labor Day weekend, I have decided it fitting to write a post dedicated to my lovely and recount this amazing relationship and how paramount this relationship has been in my life.
I met Roc 10 years ago when I was working as a Teller at a bank his employer used to make their business deposits. Roc and I have discussed how exactly this friendship started and neither one of us can exactly pin it, but for the last decade Roc has been there unfailingly to help me pick up the pieces of my life when it comes crashing down and shatters like glass in a million pieces. So here are some fun memories I have of Roc and some of our dysfunctional exchanges.
The time Roc took me out to lunch at a restaurant downtown and I started balling at the table because I was unhappy in a position he had hired me for to get me back on my feet, and although he was concerned and startled by my sudden panic attack, gently reminded me I had promised him a year in my current position, and if I didn‘t fill my obligation, he would be pissed.
The time Roc pushed me through a haunted house before I was ready to encounter the demons which lied within. I mean full on, football pushed me through to the exit so essentially I have no recollection at all of what lied in that horrific section of phony hell.
There was that time at friends dinner where we played apples to apples with a huge group, and our friend’s partner (who I actually like very much) declared they thought communism was better than democracy, and the table got really quiet until I broke the silence by laughing really hard to everyones dismay because this person was serious, and Roc was looking at me like “No seriously..this person is serious..please stop before you make it worse” and gradually my laugh retreated from belly to short ‘AH HA’S” from my throat till I was composed enough stop.
That spa day complete with a visit to my psychic which Roc was really excited about until my psychic refused to do a reading for him because she believed “He was too skeptical and would not let her psychic energy in.” And Roc was like “What the Fuck?? I’m not open?…Crazy Bitch”
Oh yeah, and there was the time coming back from a hockey game about 6-7 of us piled in Roc’s Honda Accord (it should be noted Roc changes cars every 15 mins) and I had to pee soooooo bad and our friend V was sitting pretty much on top of me and I kept trying to get her to move because she was pretty much sitting on my bladder, but every time I tried to push her, she laughed so hard which made me laugh and I kept screaming “I swear to God, I’m going to pee everywhere” and Roc‘s response was “I‘ll kill you if you pee on my back seat.” And everyone was laughing at me and of course as soon as we got back to his place, other people were faster than me because I was piled on the bottom of the human car huddle, so I had to wait even longer until a bathroom was vacated. (This particular incident might be why he hasn’t owned anything less than a sports utility vehicle since this almost accident).
Roc’s partner, Libby St. Clair, is one of the most gracious of southern hosts I’ve ever know. (Well, given I’ve really only met one). This man cooks the most amazing food and together, Roc and Libby throw one hell of a dinner party. It should also be mentioned I am of the belief if Libby wasn’t gay, he would be married to me. And I would be going on cruises, traveling to Europe, and have a nice house and cars galore. He thinks I’m gorgeous. But also repulsive. Which is why Roc has my life.
So in conclusion, Roc, Happy Birthday Darling. I am constantly in awe of your ability to love others and the loving response you get from those who love you. You have always been there for me to pick me up and I thank you and hope you know I will be here for anything you need. Now I gave you a worldly shout out for your birthday instead of those bags of seeds which I was excited about but after Libby got you that Kayak, paled in comparison. But they were harvested with love. That has to count for something. (And to my other lovelies, don’t all be getting jealous..you’ll all get your posts in time. This hot bitch of a mess (me) has lots of love to go around.)