Think with your brain, not your vaginal penis

50's myra breckinridgeI would have to say I just may be living proof that a woman does think with her vaginal penis. I can’t tell you how many bad decisions I’ve made based on what “that” is thinking versus my brain, well I can’t tell you what my brain was doing or saying because I wasn’t paying attention. My vaginal penis has caused me to engage in vaudeville behavior with male clients, male co-workers, unemployed males, alcoholic males, drug addict males, and males with felony records. Surprisingly enough, many of my indiscretions have come back to bite me in the ass repeatedly. Case in point… back in my early career while working for a prestigious local corporation I started a tawdry affair with our investment representative (“Class A a-hole“). Thinking back on it now I’m pretty sure I started it simply because of my attention whorishness nature but it took shape into what it was..weekends of pretty fantastic coitus, drinking, and watching him gamble on the internet. There was no real connection and as such it fizzled pretty quickly, much to my disbelief and dismay. I was then forced to withstand nights at the office where his latest conquest would show up and “class A a-hole“, all smiles with flowers waiting, would greet these conquests while I looked on wondering where the hell I went wrong.

Let’s Fast forward a few years now, shall we? Here I am newly employed with a new corporation possessing all renewed hope and ambition which would dwindle after a few years time. Imagine walking in and there in the corner office is Class A a-hole who just so happens to be this office’s investment representative. Only this time married with a baby on the way. Now I’m faced with the reality again that this man not only used and abused my youthful sexual prowess, he easily moved on and actually married some chick who cannot be that unlike me.

Back to my initial point, if I had kept my vaginal penis in check all those many years ago I would not have been subjected to the reality of the rejection felt many times over. Although I reveled in sideways glances and tongue-in-check remarks from him over this time period, it in no way completely satisfied my want of revenge. In layman’s terms, the dream of being pulled by him into an office and have him pour out his feelings for me after all these years never happened. And I’m still bitter about it.

On the flip side I can testify I encountered a Vivianesque hooker-like extraordinaire who I enjoyed a very positive working relationship with for a few years. “Vivian” had mastered the vaginal penis concept and used it in conjunction with her brain and was very successful at it. Vivian understood the art of professional seduction which was the key to making her sales position very lucrative for herself and also the corporation. Vivian successfully seduced both men and women alike. She found no shame in dressing like a heroin addicted professional prostitute with a condom in every boot and only slightly strayed from the dress code enough to be detected, but ultimately overlooked by management. Vivian never ever allowed herself to be lazy and go without her make-up and dutifully aqua netted her hair daily, even if she may have felt like saying screw it. I found, to my amazement, people ate it up. Not only did they find her pleasing to the eye, but she was able to tantalize them with this non-conservative appearance and personality, which tends to be highly unacceptable in this conservative industry. When I asked her what her secret was she was very mum about it. Smart..given it was her talent design that if copied and if her strategy worked for another, it would interfere with her profits. She did share with me this piece however “Flirt with them..tell them they’re sexy and compliment a woman on a piece of jewelry or a man on his choice of shirt that day. I guarantee they will buy whatever you are selling and thank you for it.” Vivian also had the mental ability to maintain a high energy level and never back down to a “no“. She could have also been high on cocaine or hydroxycut everyday. Anything’s possible.

Lesson Number 53 and 469- Let’s revisit lesson 53 and what I learned via Class A a-hole. I’m convinced if I had kept my vaginal penis in check all those years ago at the office I would have been able to spare myself the agony of yet another failed relationship. My conclusion is your vaginal penis has no place in the work place. However, I would say your vaginal penis is essential, as explained before, if you can incorporate it with your brain to make you successful in your position. Do not, I repeat Do NOT, consort with your male/female coworkers or clients in a sexual manner. Just sexual enough to make money where bodily fluids are not exchanged. If you do however decide to not heed my advice and swap fluids anyway, the chances of it ending happily ever after has a smaller percentage rate than me contracting prostate cancer. I don’t know that for sure sounds about right.


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